The Great Idea 



LAURA M. ADAMS 




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THE GREAT IDEA 



By 

LAURA M. ADAMS 



PRICE 25 CENTS 

Copyright 1922, Eldridge Entertainment House 



PUBLISHED BY 

ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE 

Franklin, Ohio Denver, Colo. 






CHARACTERS 

The Live- Wire Club — Seven members. 

Miss Milburne, v^ho rents a room to the boys for a club 
room. (Taken by boy if desired.) 

The Professor, who boards with Miss Milburne. 

Mary, the colored maid. (Taken by boy if desired.) 



DEC 30 1922 
iClD 63234 



The Great Idea 



ACT I. 

Scene — The Live-Wire club room. Boys scatterea 
about in various positions. 

Ed — Well, boys, I move you that we decide tonight 
where we are going to spend our summer vacation. 

Milton — That's right, Ed, we've been putting that 
matter off too long. We want a bully place this year. 

Herbert — Let's go in for a two-weeks' hike, boys. 

Gilbert — Nothing doing. I have to do errands all 
year after school. Me for a hammock, a book and a 
shady tree. 

Arthur — Lazy as ever, hey, Gilbert? Hark, some- 
body's knocking. {Knock on door. Mary enters ivith a 
tray of sandiviches. Boys scramble for tray, helping 
themselves.) 

Mary — {laughing) Well, now, I jess guess Missy 
Milburne wus right. 

Walter — Sure, she was right. She's always right. 
{Munches sandwich.) 

Mary — She said as how she guessed you boys'd be 
hungry, and a few sandwiches wouldn't go noways bad. 

Fred — You tell her for me, she's a brick, Mary. 

Ed, Milton, Herbert — Me, too, Mary. 

Gilbert — Amen ! Them's my sentiments, fair maid. 

Mary — {patting hair and smiling) Faih maid. 
Come, now, Mistah Gilbert. Do you really think I've any 
call to good looks? 

Gilbert — Sure thing, Mary mine. You're the pret- 
tiest girl I've seen tonight. 

Mary — {roguishly) You ain't done seen any mo' 
tonight, Mistah Gil. 

3 



The Great Idea 



(All laugh and Gilbert dodges a cap that Herbert 
throws at him.) 

Arthur — Be sure your sins will find you out, Gil. 

Mary — (starting for door) Well, have a good time, 
boys, but don't git gay. {Goes out and shuts door.) 

Walter — Some girl,, that. But say — Miss Mil- 
burne's mighty white to give us these handouts so often. 
She's not charging us much for the rent of this room — 
and I don't think she's any too well fixed, either. 

Fred — No, I guess the Professor's board helps out 
a lot. He's a funny old duffer, but she seems to think a 
lot of him. 

Ed — Yes, I've a kind of a sneaking notion (in low- 
ered tone) that Miss Milburne's hard hit. 

Milton — Stuff and nonsense. She's hard hit for 
his board, that's all. (He jumps as someone knocks at 
door. Herbert opens door.) 

Herbert — Why, it's Miss Milburne. Come in, Miss 
Milburne and let us tell you how much we enjoyed your 
treat. (Pulls a chair forward for her. She sits doion, 
nervously wiping her eyes.) 

Gilbert — I say. Miss Milburne, is anything the 
matter ? 

Miss M. — {tearfully) The matter — Oh, boys, I'm in 
deep trouble. 

Arthur — Can we help you out. Miss Milburne? 

Miss M. — Oh, I don't know — I don't know. (Wring- 
ing her hands.) I was coming down the hall a few min- 
utes ago and met the Professor leaving his room. 

Walter — What's up? Is he going to be married? 

Miss M.^ — (horrified) Oh, no, it isn't as bad as that. 

(Boys exchange knowing looks.) 

Fred — Cheer up, then. Miss Milburne. As Munyan 
says: "while there's life there's hope." (Dramatic pose.) 

Miss M. — (smiling faintly) You cheer me in spite 
of myself. Well, as I was saying, I met him in the hall 
and he says he is going to leave. 



The Great Idea 



Ed — Going to leave! The old humbug! Doesn't he 
like the eats? He doesn't know when he is well off. 

Miss M. — {bridling) Oh, no, it wasn't anything 
like that. He has always been most satisfied with my 
table. No, he says he is going abroad! 

Milton and Herbert — Going abroad! 

Gilbert — How in the mischief can he leave his job 
of prof essoring ? 

Miss M. — He tells me that he has quite unexpectedly 
come into money — I ought to be glad for him {tearfully} 
— and he is going to see the things that he has read 
about, but never dreamed of seeing. 

Arthur — But he ought not to go alone, Miss Mil- 
burne. Couldn't you — ah — make him see that? 

Miss M. — {hopefidly) I hadn't thought of that. I 
hadn't thought of anything. I came right in here to you 
boys. 

Walter — Quite right, Miss Milburne. It's about 
time we were sprucing up and paying you back for all 
the spreads you've given us. You just give us a little 
time and we'll map out a plan of attack. 

Miss M. — Plan of attack! Oh, boys, don't do any- 
thing rash. The Professor isn't any too strong — 

Fred — None too strong? All the more reason he 
should not travel alone. 

Ed — {coming over to Miss M.) Miss Milburne, will 
you promise to do just as we tell you to do if we find a 
way to help you? 

Miss M.— Well— well— 

Gilbert — He who hesitates is lost. The victory's 
ours, boys. Now, we'll enlist the fair maid, Mary, and 
the deed is done. Away, away, Miss Milburne, while we 
lay our plot. No harm you know, and a husband and 
Europe for you. 

Miss M. — {rising and smiling) I'm sure I don't 
see how you're going to plan to win the Professor — 

Arthur — Leave that to us, dear Miss Milburne. 



The Great Idea 



Milton — (escorting her to the door) All you have 
to do, Miss Milburne, is what every woman hates to do, 
I know: do as you're told. This time it's for your ever- 
lasting betterment, and for the Professor's too, only he 
doesn't know it. 

(Exit Miss M.) 

Walter — No more summer plans for us tonight, 
boys, not when real romance is staring us in the face. 

Fred — (drawing chairs closer together) Come on, 
fellows, I've got the big idea! It's been forming for five 
minutes — real melodrama! Make sure the doors and 
windows are closed. Mum's the word. 

Ed — Three cheers for Fred. He always did have a 
big head. 

Milton — ^Yes, and nothin' in it. (Dodges a pilloiv 
that Fred throws at him.) 

Herbert — Come on, Fred. I'm dead with curiosity. 
Come on with the big idea. 

CURTAIN 



ACT II. 

Scene — Same as Act I. Boys seated about room, ex- 
cept Milton ivho is just entering door. 

Ed — How about it, Milt? Got it all arranged? 

Milton — Fine as silk. Mary fell for it like a lamb. 
I had a little trouble convincing Miss Milburne, but when 
I promised her that I would really play the part of the — 

Herb. — Sh — the Professor might be coming. 

Milton — (glancing toioard door) That's so. Well, 
when she heard that she said that she wouldn't be telling 
an actual falsehood, and she'd try to see it through. 

Arthur — (throwing cap in air) Hurrah for the 
fun, then. The Professor's due here any time, now, isn't 
he? (Glancing at watch.) There's his step in the hall, 
now. Go to it there, Walter. 



The Great Idea 



Walter — (opening door) Howdy, Professor. Have- 
n't seen you for a month. 

Prof. — (notebook under arm, enters and shakes^ 
hands with boys) It has been quite a while since I've 
been in to one of your meetings, boys. Glad to see you 
again — very glad indeed. 

Fred — We're glad to see you, too. Professor, but — 
(looking anxiously at him.) Why, Professor, what ails 
you anyway? You've fallen off twenty pounds. 

Prof. — (sitting down suddenly) What's that, Fred? 
Fallen off twenty pounds! Oh, come now, Fred; you're 
only joking, 

Fred — Sure thing, Professor, Never saw such a 
change in anybody in my life. 

Prof. — (looking around at other boys) You hadn't 
noticed it, too, had you, boys? 

Milton — (seriously) Well, Professor, I don't like 
to be a Calamity Jane, and if Fred here hadn't spoken — 
I-r-ah — (hesitates) 

Prof. — (iviping his forehead) The truth, Milton, 
the truth. 

Milton — Well, then, I was thinking to myself, sir, 
when Fred spoke, that you were looking pretty seedy, 
sir, pretty seedy. 

Ed — (shaking head and speaking to Herbert) So 
pale — so very pale. 

Herbert — Chalky — ^actually chalky. 

Prof. — (quite overcome) Well, the truth is, boys, I 
do not feel like myself at all. I am completely worn out. 

Gilbert — You don't have to tell us ; we can see it. 

Fred — Why, you are actually trembling. Perhaps 
you have Angemima Pectoris — or something like that — • 
it means a wobbly heart, anyhow. 

Prof. — (hand to heart) Yes, it is beating quite 
violently now. I guess I am really a sick man. 

Milton — (patting him on back) You'll have to take 
things a bit easier, now, Professor. That's all. 



The Great Idea 



Prof. — {brightening) I am planning to do that, 
boys. It is so kind of you to have my welfare at heart. I 
have come into a fortune most unexpectedly from a de- 
ceased cousin, and I am going abroad. 

Ed — Going abroad ! The very thing you need. 

Arthur — Finest thing for a shaky heart. 

Milton — Best tonic imaginable. But Professor — 
you're not going alone? 

Prof. — Why, I hadn't thought of taking anyone vdth 
me — indeed, I had not thought of my health at all — 

Herbert — Until you came in here. Well, perhaps 
it's the best thing you ever did in your life. Professor — 
to have found yourself out in time. 

Gilbert — To die alone on shipboard! 

Prof. — ( gasping ) Horrible ! 

Walter — There, there. Professor, it isn't as bad as 
that. 

Fred — If you could only find some nice congenial 
person — someone to sort of look after you, your troubles 
would all be solved. 

Prop. — (getting up feebly) Boys, you have given 
me food for thought. I will go now and rest a while. 

(Milton slips out unobserved by Prof., but seen by 
audience.) 

Arthur — (picking up fallen notebook) You'll be 
all right, Professor, when you get hold of somebody to 
look after you — to sort of mother you — 

Prof. — (starting back) Kind of what, young man? 

Herbert — (poking Arthur to say no more) Never 
mind, Professor, you just go on and rest awhile. Stop in 
and see us again. 

Prof. — (gripping Herbert's hand) Thank you my 
boy. You are all very kind to have my interests so at 
heart. I will stop in again. Good night. (Exit, shut- 
ting door.) 

Gilbert — (clapping hands softly) Working like a 
charm, hey, boys? Now for the fun. 



The Great Idea 



Walter — Milton got away without his seeing him, 
all right. He'll make a first-rate — (The door bursts 
open and the Prof, rushes in, his face very lohite; sinks 
into chair and pants audibly.) 

Ed — (all crowding about Prof.) What's up. Pro- 
fessor? You look as if you'd seen a ghost. 

Prof. — Seen a ghost! Worse than that. I've been 
robbed ! 

Herbert — What? You robbed? 

Gilbert — What did they get, Professor? 

Prof. — {uyeakly) My watch and chain that my de- 
ceased cousin left me, and my purse. I only laid the 
things on my bureau before I came in here. 

Arthur — {starting for door) Let's form a search- 
ing party, boys — it hasn't been long since — 

(Just at this point a scream is heard in distance — 
then Mary's voice.) 

Mary — (outside) Stop, thief! Stop, thief! Oh, 
Missy Milburne, he'll kill you ! (Door opens just as the 
boys are rushing to open it, and Mary 7^uns in and drops 
in a heap on the floor, luailing. Boys rush down hall. 
Prof, anxiously peering out door.) 

Mary — Oh, my pore Missy Milburne. Professah, 
Professah, she done do it all fo' you, sah — all fo' you. 

Prof. — {turriing to Mary in beioilderment) What 
are you talking about, Mary? Did Miss Milburne see 
the thief? 

Mary — See him? Co'se she done see him. So did 
I — but when I done see him, he couldn't see me fo' dust. 

Prof. — (impatiently) But, Miss Milburne, Mary — 
what of her? 

Mary — Well, aftah I done saw the thief runnin' 
thoo the pantry, I shooed up the stairs, but just as I 
reached the top, I done think about Missy Milburne bein' 
out in the shed alone — mah hair wus on end, Professah, 
but I jess had to go down again fo' that deah lady's sake 
— and bless youah heart, Professah, when I got to the 



10 The Great Idea 



shed she was fightin* like mad wid dat theif until he done 
drop that money and watch and dust! 

Prof. — {shuddering) Poor woman — she might have 
been killed. 

Mary — Yes, sah, so she might. 'Taint many wim- 
min { slyly) would o' done the like of that fo' jest one of 
her bo'ders. Seems lak she must o' keered a heap fo' 
you, Professah. 

Prof. — Well, I surely regard Miss Milburne most 
highly, Mary. 

Mary — Yes, sah, I reckon you do. We all do. Well, 
you surely kin lay down in her house and know you's 
well taken keer of. Ain't no wimmen lak her. She's 
better'n a man. 

{Sounds in hall. Boys are returning, Milton bring- 
ing up the rear with Miss Milburne leaning heavily on 
his arm.) 

Gilbert — {handing Prof, his valuables) Here, 
Professor, are your things, returned by the bravest lady 
in the land. 

{Prof, takes ivatch and purse and advances toivard 
Miss M., ivhom Mary has seated in the arm chair. Miss 
M. is smiling ivanly.) 

Prof. — How can I ever thank you enough, my dear 
Miss Milburne? You have rescued these things at the 
risk of your life. 

Miss M. — Don't mention it. Professor. To be sure, 
he was a pretty sizeable fellow. {Mary pokes Milton and 
doubles up in silent merrimeyit.) And I wouldn't want 
to meet him every day in the week. 

Prop. — You are the bravest woman I ever met. 

{Herbert looks at Arthur, who ivhispers "We've 
won") 

Walter — It must have tuckered you all out though, 
Miss Milburne. You need a week's vacation to rest up 
and get your nerves in proper shape. 

Fred — A week! She deserves a year. Think of it! 



The Great Idaa 11 



He might have killed the Professor if he hadn't been in 
here — • 

Mary — He might have burned the hull house down, 
wid de hull congregation in it — no tellin' whar dem cheap 
white trash thieves will stop at. 

(All laugh and Miss Milburne rises.) 

Miss M. — Well, boys, I feel a little better now, and 
will go down and get the Professor's tea ready — ^he must 
have his cup of tea before retiring. 

Prof. — (hand on her arm) Cup of tea! Do not 
think of it tonight, dear friend, after all this excitement. 
You go and lie down yourself. 

Miss M. — Nonsense. I am all right. I could not rest 
if I thought you were not comfortable. (She goes out, 
followed by Mary.) 

Herbert — Such consideration ! 

Gilbert — You will go far. Professor, before you'll 
find another boarding place like this one, I'm thinking. 

Fred — It isn't the boarding place — it's Miss Mil- 
burne. She'd make anything comfortable, from a palace 
to a cabin. 

Prof. — (starting up) A cabin — a cabin — ah — that 
reminds me of my trip — 

Ed — Yes, you were going to decide about taking 
someone along with you. Professor. 

Gilbert — Did it ever occur to you to take a WIFE 
along, Professor? 

Prof. — (jumping) A WIFE! Where under the sun 
would I get a wife? I am out at college all day — here 
every evening at my desk. 

Milton — But your life is going to be very different 
now, Professor. You are going to be out in the world — 
to travel extensively — you need a woman's hand to — to — 

Walter — To pack your suitcase. 

Milton — (gratefidly) True, Walter, and a woman's 
heart to "mother" you, and to look after your welfare as 
MISS MILBURNE does here, you know. 



12 The Great Idea 



Prof. — Miss Milburne — Miss Milburne — ^boys! I 
have it! I have it! 

Fred — Have what, Professor? The Great Idea? 

Prof. — Exactly. Who could look after my interests 
better than the dear woman who saved my life today? 
(.dramatically.) 

Arthur — Well, now, why didn't we think of her be- 
fore? 

Herbert — Just like a gang of stupid boys. The very 
one. Professor. Go to it before she retires. Know your 
fate tonight. (Pushes him toward door.) 

Prof. — My heart! It is beating very fast. I won- 
der what is the cause of it. 

Fred — SHE is the cause of it. I'll bet that's where 
your Angemima Pectoris or wobbly heart comes from — 
you've been pining for Miss Milburne and didn't know it. 

Prof. — Perhaps you are right, Fred — by jingo, I do 
believe you are. 

Milton — Steady there. Professor. Never heard you 
use slang before. When a man's in love — (shakes head). 

{Exit Prof.) 

Prof. — (popping head in door) I will return and 
let you know if I am successful, boys. 

Arthur — Do, by all means. Professor. Good luck 
to you. (Door closes.) 

Ed — -(as boys laugh quietly) Well, if he isn't some 
shorn lamlD! 

Herbert — Played right into our hands all right. 

Gilbert — I'd like to be a mouse right now. Wonder 
how the old fellow will pop the question. 

Milton — Mary must have started things going all 
right, when she burst in on him and told him about the 
robbery. (Knock at door. Enter Mary, doubled up 2vith 
laughter.) 

Mary — Oh, boys, it's took — it's took. 

Fred — What's took? Is he vaccinating her, Mary? 

Mary — Wus'n dat, Mistah Fred. He done git down 



The Great Idea 13 



on his knees to propose to her — I done see him thoo de 
keyhole. And Missy Milburne jess fell on his neck. I 
guess she jess wep' fo' joy. Ha'k! Heah dey come. Hide 
me! Hide me! (Hides behind couch or chair. Emerges 
from time to time and joins at last in singing.) 

Prof. — (coming in with Miss Milburne on arm, both 
smiling happily) Well ,boys, behold my future bride. We 
are going to be married at the end of the week and sail 
before the month's out. Speak up, my dear, and tell 
them I am right. Do not be bashful. 

Miss M. — Yes, dear boys, it is all true, although 
quite like a dream yet. 

(Boys all offer congratulations, shake hands, etc.) 
Miss M. — You are such trustworthy boys and have 
always served me well. Therefore, when we leave I shall 
give you a key and you can come in and out of your club 
room at will — and rent free. 

Milton — That is too much for us to expect, Miss 
Milburne. 

Miss M. — Not at all — and I know the Professor 
agrees with me. We shall not forget you when we arrive 
in Europe, either, shall we, Professor? 

Prof. — Indeed not. I shall always be in your debt, 
boys. Perhaps, if it had not been for you, I should never 
have discovered my — ah — affection for Miss Milburne. 
(Glances at her devotedly.) 

Herbert — Well, we are surely glad to have been of 
any help. Come on boys, let's give them a send-off for 
tonight, and then away to dream of the Professor's Great 
Idea. 

(All sing to the tune of the "Stein Song.") 
Oh, it's all's well that ends well, 
When good fellows get together, 
With a cheer for Professor, 
And a handshake for his Bride — 
Yes, we truly and gladly 
Shall wish you the bestest ever. 
Spare a thought for the Live-Wires, 
When you reach the other side. 
CURTAIN 



((P 



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Monstrosities, never were in it with the marvelous, 
amazing, mystifying array outlined in its pages. Ar- 
tistic, ambling, agile, 'andsome acrobats; cajoling, 
cadaverous, costly, curious, cunning clowns; " Hee- 
Shee, the Monkey Girl of Yucatan; all of these and 
many others will be seen in the Big Peerade before 
the show starts, ladies and gentlemen. Keep to the 
right — don't crowd. Price, 2Sc. 

As Ye Sew 

A "talking doll" missionary play by Dorothy Crich- 
ton. A lot of fun and some wholesome lessons are 
contained in the conversation of the dolls who dis- 
cuss the motives of their donors. Splendid for Young 
People's or Missionary Societies. 10 girls, 1 boy, or 
all girls. Time, 20 minutes. Price, 15c. 

Finding the Key 

A dialog and drill for 10 or 12 girls and boys. Suit- 
able for any religious program, Ijul especially for 
Easter. Time, 20 minutes. Deals ,with problems of 
youth, recreations, etc.; also with those of Commun- 
ity Life and the present spirit of Unrest. Interspersed 
with suggested songs. Drill very effective. 25c. 

Eldridge Entertainment House 

FRANKLIN, OHIO also DENVER, COLO. 

944 S. Logan St. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



017 198 474 9 



New Song-Recitations 



HERE is a list of very clever child- 
impersonations or good encores 
for children. The lines are by 
Margaret Fassitt, the music by Anna 
and Harry C. Eldridge. They will 
be winners on your program. 



Ain t It The Limit? ) ;„^: 

When You Ask About Your Fixins ) "soc 



II Santa Shouldn't Come To Me) _^^ 
Fve Been And Had The Measles ) "sbc 



Both in 

one 
number 



I Wish I Had A Ginger-cake ] 
Our Twins J soc 



Both in 

one 
number 



When Grandpop Was A Boy ^ 
When Daddy Took Me Up I 
In A Tlane 



Both in 

one 
number 

50c 



Eldridge Entertainment House 

FRANKLIN, OHIO also DENVER, COLO. 

944 S. Logan St. 



